That Knife Wielding Bitch!

Ergh! I just can’t stand Mrs. Guthal. She isn’t just a cheeky slut but she’s also an annoying, back stabbing colleague. I hate the fact that we’re both seated in the same cubicle. There’s no way I can run from her.

Here, I’d like to blame the office management for not putting up a separating partition between us. I wish I was allowed to build one myself.

I’m tired of this pretense that I’m too stupid to be realizing what she’s doing to me.
Maybe, IT IS TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE.

But wouldn’t that be like running away? Would that make me a coward, a chicken, a pussy?
However, if I stay, I’ll suffer. If I fight back, it will only make me look bad in front of the other colleagues. While I don’t personally care what they say about me, career wise, it’s important. I don’t want to bury a shit hole for another.

In the mean time, doing my assignments is all I can do. And in between that, there’s Jobstreet, JobsDB, ect., ect. :-P

Ouch!

My rating this year sucks. I’ve always been those high flyers at the office. For three consecutive years I was the golden child. This year, I’m nothing.

What happened? I guess I’ve lost my appeal. I don’t shine anymore. Probably I’ve gotten rusty & didn’t realize it. No one wants to fight for me anymore. I guess no one remembers me today.

There’s no one to blame really. I’m not going to blame myself either. I’ve done nothing wrong. I did my work as usual, mingled the way I’ve always had & kept the image I’ve always projected.
Is that the problem? The fact that I’ve been the way I was since day one?

Should I morph just to spike up my ratings for next year? Will I be comfortable doing that? Or should I move to a new territory, be myself & hope that my old self will shine the new frontier?

I’m at a loss for words. No, I don’t want to blame anyone. That’s so typical & I’ve never been typical. I’m much better than that to be playing the blame game. I hate it when people do that. Blame the boss or colleagues for their own failures. I’ve always believe that every outcome of your life comes from you.

So, what’s next?

I don’t want to sulk. I guess it’s back to the earlier question, stay & polish or leave & discover?

Tough one!

New In Town

Pssst here.. Pssst there.. Pssst pssst everywhere..

That, my friends, are the sound of gossip mongers at the office. Their psssting get’s louder when there happens to be someone new in the office. It could be new managers, new tea lady, new executive or a new receptionist. In today’s case, it’s a new receptionist.

She’s here barely a month & the tears have started to flow. Owh dear, why so? How detrimental could her job, opening doors & answering phone calls be? I’m not here to criticize her job. I would love to be doing just that if I didn’t have too many commitments already. The problem here is the senior people at the office. Senior in work experience or duration at the office, but certainly not senior in mindset & behavior. They are definitely not the type of people you’d like to write this on their birthday card: The Older, The Wiser.

BS to that!

So what happened to poor Miss Lanky, the new receptionist? If she’s young & pretty then it would be about boys, boys, boys. Euwh, it’s disgusting to call them boys when those men are what we label as bujang terlajak here. Meaning confirmed bachelor-for-life-but-against-their-will. The perpetrator? Who else if it isn’t Sloppy Beast (this guy will certainly deserve an entry of his own!). There are even the cheerleaders. All nasty gossips have those irritating, knucklehead cheerleaders. They consist of ugly women in mid 30’s who happened to be spinsters.
I’m not going to write what the gossip is all about. It’s stupid & degrading. Why must the working environment at a posh office be marred by gossips? It’s not even entertaining. You might like to think so when you listen in on one, but what if you’re at the other end, the victim of gossips?

To gossipers out there, GET A LIFE!!! Find a hobby to distract yourself. You’re probably just bored with how your life turned out to be. I pity the gossipers. Every time I fall victim & get sad, I tend to compare my life to theirs. It makes me feel a whole lot better cause I realized how much better my life really is from theirs. I earn more, I look better, I’m much, much smarter & my life is way exciting. Yeay me!!!

To poor Miss Lanky, if you read this, those gossip mongers are mere dust floating in the wind. They make you sneeze once in a while, but that’s about it. No more than that. Blow them away, my dear!

If it isn't your job, zip it up!

Take a look around you. Peer beyond the walls of your box & into your neighbors'. Can you see what they're doing? Do you know exactly what he/she is typing into their computer?

Chances are, you'll see an open window, internet or office, & that's about it. You might recognize the Facebook window popping up once a while. Or that Yahoo messenger buzzing a few times in a minute. But you don't actually see what's really been running on their machine 8-5. (Unless of course you're in the same class as Mr. Dense! Refer this)

So, can you say you know your colleagues job beyond their said work scope? Do you know exactly how many percentage their contribution towards completing, say, a report or even a proposal? Do you know precisely if that junior sitting across your cubicle has lesser or easier job to do, or that senior who constantly check up on you has a tougher job to handle?

Now put on your thinking cap & give it a deep thought. Chances are, you don't know exactly what that person you're scrutinizing is doing day in & day out. You can't represent that person in promoting or demoting them to anyone because YOU JUST DON’T KNOW!

So I was naturally pissed when a colleague who was getting all chummy with the new boss started practically listing down for him about who does this or that at the office when she doesn’t know all the details. This person really rubbed it to my face by even stating to the boss about how LITTLE my contribution towards a certain project is. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THAT PROJECT FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS. I HAVE BEEN PROMOTED BASE ON THAT PROJECT.

To all workers out there, please don't try to outrank your peers by talking (shitting actually) your way through.

If it isn't your job, zip it up!

Alone, not lonely.

Ever walked into a cafe at lunch time to see a fellow sitting at a table having lunch by himself? His face sullen as he munches on his food. Once in a while you'll notice him stare at the surroundings for a few seconds then return to his food. Ever felt sorry for that guy?

I don't. I am that guy. & you should keep your distance.

That person having lunch ALONE is not friendless. Does not have BO issues, & isn't an embarrasment to society. That person is perfectly fine. Quit feeling sorry & quit staring! He looks sullen cause if he smiled through out lunch, men in white coats will be waiting at the door. He looks up once in a while cause he doesn't want a neck cramp.

Most lunch time, I like to sit ALONE at a cafe or restaurant. I love some quiet time for myself to just enjoy my own company & what ever I'm chowing down. It's not the quietness from sound that I crave, cause eateries are very (very, very) noisy. It's the quietness from people talking to (sometimes at) me.

Having lunch ALONE is my way of getting as far away from nagging problems. Not my problems, but my friends. Notice how all the stupid relationship problems comes out at lunch time? Don't believe me? During today's lunch, you go seat youself next to a bunch of ladies eating together then eavesdrop on what they have to say. If I am wrong, most probably that moment they're more interested to discuss what their kids are up to (e.g. 1st swear word, location of tantrums, breast pump malfunction, etc.).

Anyway, there was once when I was quitely enjoying my McDonald's Ayam Goreng Spicy, a lady (who was rather ignorant of my situation) placed her food tray on my table & sat down. She said, "I couldn't find a place to sit." I was boilling mad at this intrussion of my happiness, but smiled politely anyway, picked up my tray, & sat at the bar stool to continue eating. You can have my table, lady, but you ain't getting my 'moment'.

Some of you might find my action rude, to me though, she was rude. I wanted to be ALONE. She doesn't get that because she's LONELY. In her desperate attempt to not be seen eating ALONE, she intruded my space. What she doesn't get (what a lot of people don't get), is that being on your own doesn't make you a loser. Losers are people who can't survive standing on their own 2 feet. They constantly need 'support'. A sad requirement that was inherrited way back since highschool. People, please grow up!!

If you're in a clingy click, remember one thing, you can't take your friends to your grave with you. (Unless you're burried in a mass grave, but then again, you don't have a say about whom you'd like beside you.)

My Two Cents (10/06/2010)

At the mall near my office:

1. I looked down to the centre court of the ground floor, where there's a perfume promotion going on. The promoters were eagerly trying to get passers by to test the perfume. These promoters were actually beaming ear to ear. Passers by just pass by. Some even went out of their way to avoid the promoters. The promoters are still beaming.

2. In the grocerry store, a shop assistant sits in a box. It's 1m x 1m, & 1.5 meters tall. You can just see the top of his head. The box is made out of shelves that displays expensive chinnese herbs. He's job is to assist herb buyers.

I'm back at the office feeling:

1. Grateful. I have a job that doesn't require me to smile so much.

2. Grateful. I can streatch my legs when I'm sitting in my box. It's 3m x 3m.

3. Very grateful. My box is not made out of shelves displaying herbs.

Today I'm a bit more grateful.

Sent from my Nokia phone

Fly away now.. Right now!

At the very moment I'm typing this, there's a fly hovering behind me. It's been that way for a few minutes now. I try to ignore it. I don't want to be distracted by it. But the longer I keep my silence, the more agitated I become. For the fly is still hovering on my back.

Fly away now, fly. You make me really uncomfortable. I could just swat you with the badminton racquet lying under my desk. But my oh my. We don't want that to happen, do we. Cause, if it does, you'll be seriously injured (& I'll be content) & I'll get sent to anger management as well as the jail, should you decide to press charges against me.

Lucky fly to have such previlleges. The fly is human after all. The annoying kind. They come up to you with nothing to say. They just stand there and stare into what ever you were doing.

Just stand & stare.

Invading that thing called your privacy. Taking over your personal space. Breathing down your neck for no apparent reason. Why?

I've tried shooing it away. I gave him the blank stare, the death stare & even the bitch stare. I even asked him directly, "What do you want?". They just don't work. He's not bothered with the fact that I'm annoyed. He probabaly doesn't GET IT! Thus, this nickname for him: Mr. Dense! (& that's me being nice)

Got your own fly at the office? If you don't, please take mine :-D